Weighing in on age difference, and sexy San Diego women
by Tony Cooper
Posted on Tue, Dec 28th, 2010
Last updated Tue, Dec 28th, 2010
As a matchmaker, Lisa Purdum has fashioned a career on helping people find their soul mate, love of their life, eternal partner, Mr./Ms. Right, all that kind of stuff.
That's why she definitely stood up and took notice when she found out that Ol' Hef, Hugh Hefner, is going to take a third swing at marriage. The latest squeeze for Hefner, 84, is 24-year-old Crystal Harris, who is a La Jolla High product and was a psychology major at San Diego State.
Hugh Hefner and Crystal Harris.
AP photoHarris is most known for being
Playboy's Playmate of the Month in December 2009. The loving couple became engaged this past Christmas Eve. Hefner is the magazine's founder.
This impending union was the topic of choice in Purdum's office today, and while Purdum hardly seems to be the cynical type, it was of those things that made her go "Hmm..."
"If it works for them, that's fantastic,'' said Purdum, who has worked for It's Just Lunch, a La Jolla-based dating service, for 10 years. "Obviously we don't really know if they fell in love. Is it real or is it a publicity stunt? My gut tells me it's a publicity stunt.
"I don't have women in their 20s (as clients) who want to date men in their 80s. I wouldn't take (a man in his 80s looking for 20-somethings) as a client. It's not the norm. But is it possible? Absolutely, it's okay.''
Purdum then cracked, "A lot of older men will be invigorated.''
The line that "age is just a number" has been around a while, though maybe not as long as Hefner. A five-year gap between partners probably wouldn't even be on the radar in most relationships; a 10-year difference likely wouldn't make tons of folks look sideways. Sixty? That is a whole different neighborhood.
"Kind of creepy,'' said Jimmy Pettit, a 46-year-old San Diego resident. "It's all ego-based on his part, on their part. It's borderline prostitution of themselves. You have to question their motives. Clearly, they're not in it for a life-long marriage.
"Hefner, the guy still makes every public appearance in a bathrobe.''
Given Pettit's age, it's not possible for him to be engaged or marry a woman 60 years younger. If it is, we don't want to know about it. So he was asked how would he fare with a woman decades his junior.
"I don't think (we'd) have anything in common,'' Pettit said.
Kathy Armitage, a San Diego resident who declined to reveal her age, wasn't much for such a union, either.
"A 60-year difference seems rather extreme and bizarre," she said. "So the announcement was probably for publicity.''
Jamie Barton, an easy-going Chula Vista resident, was a lot more laid back about the whole thing.
"For some reason, it doesn't bother me,'' Barton said. "But it probably should. He's lived his life... popular culture-wise, it's not right.''
What if your grandfather came home with a 24-year-old
Playboy centerfold alum and announced to the family they were planning to get hitched?
"I don't know,'' Barton laughed. "I'd have to worry about whether she was after his money. If it was in my family, I'd be a little more concerned. Hey, it's their personal life.''
Whatever one thinks of the 60-year gap, it's clear that Hefner has taken a liking to San Diego, uh, talent. One of Hef's previous eminent girlfriends is Kendra Wilkinson, who was born in San Diego and reared in Clairemont.
Which brings up the issue of whether San Diego is laden with a surfeit of women who value high finance, not romance when it comes to relationships; that the average schmoe who drives the No.11 MTS bus or delivers mail doesn't have a chance in the dating arena.
That's an easy stereotype, mindful of the time a disheartened guy who lived in my building was moving back to the Seattle area, bemoaning his fate and love life around these parts.
"All the women in San Diego are stuck up,'' he griped, knowing a woman such as Harris wouldn't have given him the time of day in a clock shop.
Purdum wouldn't buy that this area is a haven for women who only want fame, publicity and fortune, instead of looking at everyone on a case-by-case basis. The fact is, you could find a money-grubbing, wannabe celebrity on Staten Island or Buffalo, New York, if you looked hard enough.
"If a man wants to date younger (it's perceived as) terrible,'' Purdum said. "We want what we want. Age is absolutely just a number. Some people do well (with someone older), some don't.''
While Purdum said she's never had someone come into the office seeking a mate 60 years older or younger, it's common for her to encounter women wanting a more learned, erudite man.
"Our job is to find what works for each person, Purdum said. "I haven't seen anything like a 60-year age spread, absolutely not.
"But I have had women who want an 'old soul', a man a little more established so they can travel the world. Some women do well with younger men, some with older.''
If Harris were seeking an old soul, that's what she got. Girl, get that passport ready.
Photo Credit: Jeff Rayner